“You never do.” Angel, as she refers to herself on the blog, is reluctant to share too much personal information, though she said she’s 21, living in the South and raising a child while attending college.She said sugar daddies—she’s had a few, and usually has more than one at a time—have helped her manage financially.
Dating site Seeking Arrangement, which advertises that it pairs the “successful” and “generous” with “attractive people looking for the finer things in life,” says it has 1 million active sugar daddy and mama users—and 2.6 million “sugar babies” for them to meet.
Sugar mamas are, by most accounts, a tiny fraction of the site's users, and that only adds to the power imbalances that already exist between wealthy, experienced men, and the younger women they’re looking to date.
But many of those women aren’t just using the internet to find men—they’re also using social networking sites and blogs to share experiences with others in the sugar dating scene.
The sugar babies even have their own slang, mostly based around sugar puns: women active on the scene are “in the bowl;” potential sugar daddies are pots, for short; men without sufficient funds or who are too thrifty to be proper sugar daddies are dubbed Splendas; manipulative and abusive men are angrily denounced as salts.
“It's incredibly rewarding to see how supportive so many girls are, as well as how protective they are when one of our own is assaulted or hurt by a man in the sugar bowl,” wrote “Katie,” the 24-year-old author of the Tumblr blog Stripping and Sugaring, in an email.
“Many are also more than willing to answer questions or give advice to those with less experience.” Many bloggers say they consider it especially important to share what they’ve learned with women just entering the bowl.“You’re not gonna expect what the sugar daddy dating world brings you,” the author of the Blonde Angel Baby blog told me she tells potential sugar babies.On Tumblr in particular, sugar babies—mostly women, along with some gay men—post tips on everything from internet safety to picking out makeup to depositing cash allowances without drawing the attention of the IRS.They offer each other support in sticky situations and give each other an outlet to talk about relationships many don’t feel comfortable discussing with friends and family.“We try to help each other out, give advice, learn from other people,” wrote Sarah Marie, the 21-year-old college student who writes the blog Confessions of a Sugar Baby, in an email.“If there is a guy who is an absolute asshole, warnings will be put out about him.” They share photos of presents from sugar daddies and vacations they’ve been treated to, celebrate good dates and console each other about less-than-generous matches.