You’re hanging around waiting for them to break up with their new partner so you can pick up where you left off.You let your ex call you up for an ego stroke or to bitch about their current relationship.
Some of you by the time you read this will have ended up making last minute plans and have been on tenterhooks all week watching your phone etc for ‘The Big Invite’ and some of you will end up sorely disappointed either because you don’t hear from them or because when you do, it’s at some obscene hour or they behave like a twit.
Here’s the thing: When you wait around for someone to ask you out and you put yourself on layaway so that you can be available should they see fit to ‘make contact’ and dignify you with their presence, you inadvertently communicate that not only do they not have to value your time or even you as a person, but that you’re an option.
An option I might add, that could do with filling up their life with better pastimes than being The weekend thing is just one example of many where you communicate that you’re OK with being an option.
Here’s a few more: No matter how many times they reject you or the relationship, you’re up for another sequel – A Nightmare on Relationship Street #135 You say you’ll ‘wait’ even when they tell you not to.
They say they don’t want to commit and want to keep things casual and you play the ‘long game’ so that if they spontaneously combust into being available, you’ll be ready to ‘step in’.
They’re dating/sleeping with others and even though it makes you feel like crap, you stick around.You sit at the round table in their harem, fawning over them and competing for their attention.They say “You know where I am if you change your mind” after you told them to take a run and jump because they’re attached/otherwise unavailable/a dipstick.You play The Good Girl/Guy and suckerdart yourself to them as Friend of the Year post breakup so they can recognise your greatness, validate you, and hopefully see the error of their ways – they think “Hmmm, looks like they’re OK with being tapped up for a shag from time to time”.They can call you up at any time of night and sextext with you or arrange to hook up.No matter how much time has passed and no matter how flimsy or bad the history, they can come back. Just ask many of the people who get caught out by the Returning Childhood ‘Sweetheart’.