People treat you the way you teach them to treat you.
My grandmother would tell me this often when she was bestowing jewels of advice to me in regards to love and dealing with men. This love mantra if you will, is what assisted me in deciding who I should continue to date and whose time on my clock has just ended. This is why when I hear other Black women make comments that Black men are more willing to treat White women better while dating and in a relationship than they would Black women, I have to offer the screw face.
She also often instructed me to never beg a man to love me. Now, this topic is an onion of sorts because it is packed with so many layers that I even had trouble deciding how I should attack it.
I can remember sitting at her dining room table and her refusing to allow me to call back a guy I was dating who suddenly decided unbeknownst to me, that he no longer wanted to have anything to do with me.
Let me start by first reflecting on one of my grandmother’s mantras.
He does not know anything about your personality or your past.
This is where you teaching him what is allowable and what is not, is urgent.If you refuse or are too afraid to be vocal and to back up the vocals with action, then you are to blame. Did I just say that a woman being mistreated by a man is not the man’s fault? [pullquote_right]When a man first meets you, he has no idea on what to expect from you.[/pullquote_right] Let’s dissect this whole inequality among Black and White women from Black men. I am not blind to the ways of our society and I hope that you aren’t either otherwise you are going to have a hard life.This man needs to understand that mistreatment of any kind will not be tolerated. Once that is in order, you must then determine how you want to be loved.Making that determination is key is weeding out the losers and time wasters.Having said all of that, here is where the problem comes in and where the sistas disappoint me.When a man first meets you, he has no idea on what to expect from you.